.jpg)
"My
wife
said
she
needed
more
space. . . so
I
locked
her
out
of
the
house. "
#MarriageGoals】
2.
"Marriage
is
like
a
deck
of
cards,
at
the
start
all
you
need
is
two
hearts
and
a
diamond,
but
by
the
end,
you
wish
you
had
a
club
and
a
spade. "
#RelationshipHumor】
3.
"They
say
love
is
blind,
but
marriage
is
a
real
eye-opener. "
#Truth】
4.
"Marriage
is
the
only
war
where
you
sleep
with
the
enemy. "
#LoveandWar】
5.
"Relationships
are
a
lot
like
algebra
-
you
look
at
your
X
and
ask
Y. "
#MathHumor】
6.
"Behind
every
great
man
is
a
woman
rolling
her
eyes. "
#PowerCouple】
7.
"I
asked
my
wife
if
she
ever
fantasizes
about
me.
She
said
yes,
about
me
doing
the
dishes,
taking
out
the
trash
and
vacuuming
the
house. "
#DomesticDuties】
8.
"I
can't
believe
I
found
someone
who
is
just
as
weird
as
I
am.
#RelationshipGoals】
9.
"My
wife
and
I
were
happy
for
20
years.
Then
we
met
each
other. "
#LaughOutLoud】
10.
"Being
married
means
sharing
the
ups
and
downs
of
life. . . like
when
you
both
get
sick
and
have
to
take
care
of
each
other. "
#SickDay】
11.
"Married
life
is
one
big
compromise.
I
get
what
I
want,
but
only
if
my
wife
agrees
to
it. "
#CompromiseEqualsLove】
1
2.
"They
say
you
shouldn't
go
to
bed
angry,
but
sometimes
I
just
want
to
get
some
sleep. "
#ArgumentsCanBeDraining】
1
3.
"Marriage
is
like
a
game
of
chess,
except
the
board
is
the
couch
and
the
pieces
are
your
significant
other's
clothes. "
#RelationshipStrategy】
1
4.
"My
wife
and
I
have
different
sleep
schedules. . . she
sleeps
when
she's
tired,
and
I
sleep
when
she's
not
snoring. "
#SleepScheduleWoes】
1
5.
"Marriage
is
like
a
fine
wine,
it
gets
better
with
age. . . unless
you
let
it
spoil. "
#WineAndDine】
1
6.
"My
wife
said
I
never
listen
to
her.
At
least
that's
what
I
think
she
said. . . "
#SelectiveHearing】
1
7.
"Marriage
is
like
a
full-time
job,
except
you
don't
get
paid. . . and
you
still
have
to
deal
with
your
boss
when
you
come
home. "
#WorkLifeBalance】
1
8.
"I
can't
wait
to
grow
old
with
my
wife,
watch
the
sunset
together,
and
yell
at
kids
to
get
off
our
lawn. "
#GoldenYears】
1
9.
"They
say
that
keeping
a
relationship
alive
is
like
keeping
a
plant. . . well,
my
wife's
plants
are
all
dead. "
#GreenThumbFail】
20.
"My
wife
and
I
have
an
amazing
relationship.
Two
nights
ago,
she
dreamed
she
killed
me. . . and
she
apologized
the
next
morning. "
#RelationshipDreams】
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